Honestly, this bottle sucks. 


I’m not that into taking the time to give something a bad review, but as a mom I do find its more helpful to other moms if I’m honest.. er, forthright. 

Let me start off by saying I love the Honest Co.  I use many of their home and baby products.  But this bottle can basically kick rocks all the way back to Jessica Alba’s house. 

First off, this sonofabitch is heavy.  Fill it with milk and you may need someone to spot you if you plan to lift it above your heart.  I’m still trying to get River to hold his own bottles, that’s not happening with this thing.  He’d burn more calories than he was taking in. 

The whole bottle is made of soft silicone, which was actually a selling point to me.  I dunno, it seemed cool.  I grew up in LA, we have a love for silicone like Buffalonians do for blue cheese.  But if this thing gets pinched, squeezed, or smooshed it will dump out it’s contents all over your diaper bag, your baby, your shirt, your dog, your life.  I say DUMP, not leak.  Dump is correct.

The nipple and the big honkin’ blubbery bottle have to line up juuuuuuuust so when you screw them together.  Too loose and dumpity doo dah, too tight and the air vents get blocked meaning your kid will work up a sweat trying to get the milk out as the bottle squeaks and hisses and collapses, and when they try to let go half their face will get sucked back into the bottle.  

The to-go lid is ridiculously hard to get off.  Couple that with a squishy, blubbery body and it’s a disaster waiting to happen.  Imagine super gluing a lid to the end of a full water balloon, and then try pulling it off.  It’s something like that. 

As far as nipples go, this one is actually pretty great.  It’s the only reason this bottle hasn’t already been recycled into one of the Kardashians.  River has a really strong suck, has since birth (lucky me).  Getting him to drink from a bottle took a lot of trial and error because all manmade  nipples would choke him with their letdown.  He’ll be a year this month and he’s still using newborn slow flow nipples.  This bottle actually works for him in that regard. 

Bottom line, there are some crucial design flaws with this bottle. It bums me out because it’s cute and I ❤️ the Honest Co., but maybe they’ll figure it out and give this thing a makeover that for once means LESS silicone. 

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3 thoughts on “Honestly, this bottle sucks. 

  1. Oh man, we used this once and when the top got stuck while baby was screaming like a banshee, hubby chucked it in the trash!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel like I’ve tried every single bottle on the market, and I find fault with every single one. Maybe we just need to invent the perfect bottle!

    Like

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