Yesterday was my 2 week post op check up and it was full of good news! It was another great lesson from the universe that I need to stop assuming I know the outcome of things that haven’t happened yet. I was so sure that on top of being a wretched thing to go through and the loss of the baby, this whole ordeal pretty much sealed my fate for ever getting pregnant again on my own. I’ve been stewing in that for 2 weeks feeling sorry for myself and yesterday I got the positive smack upside the head I needed.
First off, the “bunches of cysts” on both ovaries that the ultrasound technician saw weren’t cysts at all! They were blood clots from the initial slow bleed of the ectopic. So my ovaries are great! I guess my blood was clotting like crazy as they were trying to suction it out of my body, which is usually good, you want blood to clot, but it kept getting stuck in the suction machine. So she ended up leaving a fair amount of blood in me, which actually was good I guess because it gets reabsorbed, so my numbers and iron looked great. And it should, there was a fuck of a lot of it pumped in there. In total I had 6 units of blood plus platelets and other plasma products. Thank God for people who donate! From now on I will be donating blood regularly.
The doctor also said my other tube is “beautiful,” clear, and in perfect shape! And my endometriosis is currently nonexistent!
My incisions are healing really well and I got the green light to pick up River!! I’m so freaking excited about this. I still have to take it easy but just to hold his fat body for a few minutes makes me happy.
I also learned something super duper interesting about female anatomy. I always thought that your ovaries were both affixed at the end of either Fallopian tube, so the loss of a tube would really be equal to the loss of an ovary. But that is WRONG! Apparently Fallopian tubes are all loosey goosey in there, and sweep around searching for the egg that’s being released. They can even sweep to the opposite ovary! I had a hard time picturing this so last night in bed I searched Dr. World Wide Web for a video so I could wrap my little pea brain around it, and I found this.
So even though I only have one tube, the left side can take over the work of my missing tube and deliver my released eggs from BOTH ovaries. This is wonderful news because I was obviously concerned this surgery had cut my chances of getting pregnant again naturally in half.
I’m so, so happy that I get to share all this positive stuff! And now that I’m on this side of it I think I can actually admit how scary and awful this whole thing was. Obviously I wanted to let people know what was going on, and I preferred to post about it rather than have Jordan and I both need to message the people in our lives that would want to know and tell this story/relive it over and over. That was just too much. I wanted to be careful not to dramatize the situation when I posted it and make people worry about me because that’s shitty. But now that I’m ok I can say this was hands down the scariest and most painful thing I’ve ever lived through. I honestly thought I was going to die. My doctor said she did, too. The first thing she did when she came in was hug me and tell me how happy she is that I’m here, because I almost wasn’t. She said the other 2 surgeons were panicking and telling her to cut me open immediately and perform a hysterectomy to just get me to stop bleeding. But my doctor was calm and collected and made the decision to do it laparoscopically and just take the tube and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for her! I love my doctor. The nurses were all coming out one by one to hug me and tell me how scared I had them. The last time they saw me I was strapped to a gurney being wheeled out by the Chippendale EMTs.
I don’t know what the future holds but I am alive and happy and HOPEFUL in the very least. I just again want to thank each person who sent flowers, care packages, messages, daimoku, etc. I really felt the love and it helped me through this in a big way. And I am doing great now so you can scratch me off your list of people to be concerned about.